growth

yesterday,i learn a new chapter for bio

GROWTH

yes,we grows older n older

of coz,the term "old" stil unable to suit wif our age 

there are many challenges n difficulties awaiting for us

in facts,we are still an infant in the society

there are a lot of things that we should know n learn

 

since i made d decision to form six

i knew I m going 2 change my life 

nop,perhaps

d journey of form 6 force us 2 have a big change

yup,it is true

tis year,especially tis few months

i learn a lot of things frm different sources

i learn d importance to be independent

when i was discovered i was lost when driving alone 

i tot d first word appear in my mind is nervous

however

d word CALM replace it

of coz,i still felt a bit nervous bcoz i was truly unfamiliar wif d roads there

n i discovered d importance of hp

i was once found tat i was lost  n hav 2 beggar for hp from stangers since mine was out of credit

even though these are d small change in my life

bt i was satisfied wif it

at least,i knw i hav to be brave enough 

n to be more confident to myself

i am proud of me now !!

yesterday was my 19th bday

i was shocked by the surprise 

it was a simple but touching celebration

friends,thx for the gifts

i appreciate it

 

last call to myself

i hav to be put more effort on my studies

i did it !!

yesterday,v were having our 1st dissection

i was scared n worried be4 v began

the rat that sacrifice for me

I hope u can rest in peace in heaven

and dun ever become a rat anymore

coz it is suffering

i did it !!

actually the only part that i scare is d process of separating d skin n muscle..

after that,everything looks normal

in facts,it is the smell that torture me

even DETOL( i forgot the spelling) smells better than it

i dun thnk d mask can covers the smell even though we wear it too...

v learn 2 differentiate d internal organs n separate them out into several metabolic system

and now,my job is 2 draw them out..

add oil la..yin ling !!

being confidence is a need when u face difficulties

i learnt it yesterday

outing with friends..

usually,the so called 'OUTING" mean shopping,singing and watching movie

with friends during holidays

in facts,it has become part of our life especially v are born in a city

however,in this holidays

one of my friends suggested to hav a walk at beach

(although v went to strait quay at last)

it sounds good

sitting by the beach,enjoying d sea breeze flow through my face

n d blue sky 

flashing water to each other,playing cards on d sand,"building" a ball of sand and throw it to each others

i really mean BUILD, coz there were big

having fun at d batu feringgi beach with friends is my 1st experience

i went there before but in accompany of my family

4 of us were crazy in catching d small crab with our bare hand n bottled them wif sand

and the reason is because there are 2 cancer in among 4 of us..how sweat is it..

v played cards on d sand.

i won d game,but(with d help of whai chun)

haizz..i really freak out in that game bcoz of their tricksss...

before going 2 beach,v went to strait quay

v plan 2 hav some meal there 

but d price of food cost a bomb n finally v decided 2 cancel the plan..

actually i am the one who plan to go strait quay coz i never been there  b4..

hahax..so sorry about that

in shorts,v do have fun in the "trip"

camp..

it had been long time I dun involve in any camp since  last year

it was indeed a good try to be a volunteer of camp helper

i learn a lot

at least,i know how to control d sound system likes mic...

of course,i met some new friends

although i was consider old in the camp

(coz it only involve teenagers in between 13 - 18)

it was my 1st experience 2 feed goats

it was my  1st experience 2 enjoy d view of nature-paddy field

I love the camp

although it was tiring~

is it wat i hope?

finally exam is over

sad to say,it is not d end

in facts,is my starting point to torture

looking back to my calender

i was shocked tat it is almost fully-filled 

extra class,dissection,tuition,badminton ,camp n outing

i guess i will be exhausted by d eventssss..

of coz, there are tons of homeworks to do

i hav to revise back my chemi n bio

if nt,my future is really gone

sometimes,i feel good to be alone

since i dun hav 2 bothers wat others felt

it seems like i have use to it

maybe i should keep on being alone

it is nt a bad taste

to hav a try

well,i know wat i should do n wat i should'nt

i juz need some determination

so,keep it on

yinling

you can do it !!

frustrated !!!!

sunday,the only day that i think i din waste any time

at least i  done my homeworks

even though i found that there are still many left 

either blank or half way written

yesterday is our sch parent day

luckily i din scolded by teachers 

in facts,i was actually have to see pn khor,our maths teacher 

since she is asking me to sit there

hahax..but i was successfully flee frm danger..

so,thx to ewe kooi

i was back frm 浴佛 礼

it was a grand function organized by 慈济

it was my 1st time to join such function

anyway,evrythg is pretty good

except i hav to wait so long till i was starving..

there is a part called 大忏悔

yes,i really need it

not only for myself,for my family and friends too

礼佛足〉接花香〉祝福吉祥

these are d simple slogans tat used juz now

hopefully evrythg runs smoothly in future

my  messy table

exam is around d corner

it juz left a week

how am i going to finish all d syllabus

perhaps,i thnk i will juz focus on d main topic for chemi

bio,i will try my best to do it

pa n maths..well i juz need some luck

all the best to me

^^

thx for ur response

now, everything is over
like my friend said
i hav to be tough and selfish
i wont let myself to get hurt anymore
well,everyone hav their rights to make their decision
since this is wat u want
i wont blame on u

of coz,i wont regret
摇摆不定的心
是时候该放下了

gambateh to my friend and me !!

I already decided it

no dreaming
no imagination
no expectation
and finally
NO REGRET !
I felt so sorry 2 myself

yes,no loss no gain
I rather choose to loss it
I dun allowed myself to get hurt
or perhaps,i dun wish to

I should love myself
fight for my future is my main goal
so,i have decided it..

i had lost most of my time
i understand i maybe too late
but who care?
as long as i realise it and willing to make a change
so,what i wish now
is 72 hours a day
time is limited
so,i hav to create a miracle in such limited time
can i do it ?

u r too good to me
so,yinling
juz let it go..
LET IT GO ~

a soothing feeling

Arhaa, I found that i feel comfortable when talking wif you
it is my vry 1st time to have such feeling
i duno how to describe the feeling
but juz simply feel fresh and nice to chat wif you
actually,i cant believe i will take d initiative to sms wif you
especially,u r a boy

so what ?
it do happen..


you are indeed a good person
i appreciate our friendship

should I give up?

I hate d characteristics that i hold now..
I wonder why i kept yawning when i wan to study
where is my study mood?
since when i hav bcame so lazy ?
i dun even try to cope d problem i faced myself,
i was too dependent on others to find a solution for me.
oh no!! i have changed??
dont deny,yinling,
you are now a super lazy gurl..
time is limited,and
YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP NOW
dun ever try to find any excuse
i was really fed up with it...

and you,stop giving me hopes
maybe it is d time to lower my expectation on you
i dun know why i have put you as my priority
i am not d worms in your stomach
i dun noe what are you trying to tell me
my six sense is not that strong.
plz,dun try to disappoint me after giving me some hopes
it's hurts ..
speak it out
at least i know you care it or not..

.

st.john anniversary

                                                                        preparing...

our first dish,look nice right?

                                                              

   kok hong fail to 'pick up' d 'bao yu' using his chopsticks and yet not giving up

actually i felt surprise to see such a grand dinner 

organized by our school st.john 

it is not bad 

d dinner started at 6.30 sharp (i think)

but i was late 

due to some problem

so  i miss d photo taking session wiv all those leng zai leng lui

n our classmates too!

but it is ok..

becoz i can still update myself wif d photos uploaded in facebook

haha 

before going for d dinner,

both me and xing ern hav a study group in my house

we hav done some chemi questions

and i found tat

i was really weak on tis subject

and i have to put more effort on it

if i wan to get an A

Now,i was busy and worried wif my homeworkss

since i havnt do it after school on friday

tat is a lot peka tat i havnt finish

so ,i hav to off for my homeworks now..

明白了，领悟了

最近 ，从朋友中领悟自己的错误
虽然这不是第一次，但却是刚好让我可以好好反省的一次
或许，连我自己也不清楚
原来，一直以来，都是我的错
甚至，单纯到认为自己是无辜的
天啊，我从几何时，变得如此自我？

其实，从我发现，我们之间出现问题
之后来尝试去解决，到现在
我都在埋怨是别人的错
看似解决了，但实际上，你我清楚明白
我们心中始终有面墙，是还未突破的
我们一天不去了解，问题始终不会解决

我相信你们都明白
我向来都很重视友情
我不希望身边的朋友因为我受到伤害后
却因为怕伤害我，而选择不告诉我
我不值得你们为我这么做

我是可以接受适当的被伤害
要在我面前说出的确不容易
我只想说，我不是你们想象中的那么懦弱
是我错的，我还是会接受和改变的
怎么说，
反正，你们认识的我，不是真正的我

明天就要见面了，
老实说，我有点不清楚该怎么做

我不与你们分享和分担
感觉上，我有点自私
相反的，你们都很愿意与我分担你们的烦恼
我想说，我不与你们分担，只不过是因为我不希望我再增添你们的烦恼
还有，我相信自己还可应付得来
再不然，就是我觉得我的烦恼根本就不是烦恼
只不过是我自己想太多而已

当然，还是想说对不起
我不知道，这次会不会又是因为想太多而误解了谁
但，就算是误解，我觉得这误解是值得的
至少，你让我看清自己的错误
让我有机会反省
或许那不是我，但我依然觉得你形容得没错
我是有些过份了

抱歉

well,finally i understand

well,
finally
i get what you mean,
honestly speaking, i was shocked when i saw it
and it hurts too
sorry,i am juz a normal human being
i do have my own expression
however,i understand it was my fault
i accept it ,and i will try to figure out my problems
of course,i will see through my weaknesses seriously...

i never realised it was my fault
or more correctly,
i din discover that i was wrong too!!
what i do is,
keep on complaining to others
or perhaps,hoping others will find a solution for me

oh...why?
why i was so selfish?
i m like typing to a computer , facing a white screen
looking through the reflection of myself
and feel unfamiliar with myself..
who am i ?

sorry,friends
i prefer u all to share with me
all my weaknesses
rather than keeping it inside your hearts
i know it is quite hard to speak it out in front of me
but at least let me know
it is better to hurt me once
if not,i think i will pretend that i was right

i m not a perfect ppl
but i will try
at least , try my very best to have a change to myself

finally,
i want to apologize to my friends
that i hurt or create problems to them before
especially my transport problems
instead of asking for helps from others,i will perhaps settle it by my own next time

sorry~

stop thinking,start studying

pictures of my imagination keep "flowing" in my mind
i cant control them frm not thinking about it
although i was sure that it wouldnt happen
exam is arond d corner,yet i cant concentrate on my studies
i wasnt that bad
i think i can handle it as soon as possible
it is not d time 4 me 2 think such nonsense
so plz..wake me up!
i dun wan 2 stand on d stage during sch assembly bcoz of my bad results
brain,can u stop thinking about that?
leave some space 4 my bio,maths chemi,and pa...
or juz provide some strength 4 me 2 study..
i dun wan 2 be a last minute person
but i have to be right now
coz it is really short of time!!

so,can someone plz wake me up!!!
stop thinking and start studying!!

YOU,sorry i have 2 keep it deep in my heart for a moment 4 my own goods

hope u understand..

conflict of emotions..

I am not sure wif my feeling now..
sometimes,i will feel loneliness,
sometimes,i feel happy,
especially during gathering wif old friends
sometimes ,i somehow find that i not really enjoy any function or party that i joined

i kept remind myself to study
but i cant make it
i try hard but still failed
am i suit to continue this journey?
is it d one tat i really hope for?

do i really love chemi,bio meths?? all these sc subjects?
if i found tat it was an unpleasant ans,wat should i do?

i feel happy when my kl friends came back for holiday last week
there is a lot fun there
i drunk,played,shopped,eat...
until finally,i fall sick..
yet,i was happy 2 meet them..
I love them n miss them so much..

should i write somethg about YOU in this blog?
or maybe ,juz keep it as a secret in my mind.. =)

真的要离开我们了吗？



不想再让自己哭泣，行吗？



妈，你说要到很远的地方了

这是什么意思？

妈，你说你不能再“照顾”我们了

这表示什么？

妈，你说你要我们好好照顾自己，

我希望你也是。

你离开我们半年了，

不习惯也得习惯少了你的生活

晚上能梦见你，

依然是我向往的事

但却在这时

听到了这番话

我心好痛，

虽已尝试让自己活得坚强

但难免还是平服不了压抑的激动

我相信自己已在努力办的最好

我学会怎么活得开心，活得自在

最近也不懂发生了什么

只觉得已开始厌倦上学的日子

或许是我无意间说出了不该说的话

导致出现了这尴尬的局面

我已不懂该如何跟你们开口说话了

因为深怕自己会伤害到任何一方

在学校沉默了好久

觉得自己已不再像自己

那道墙何时才能消除？

我深怕那道墙会越建越厚

或许到那时，我们就变成陌生人了

我不希望这会发生

TT

终于放下了

放下的感觉真好

一直纠缠的烦恼

终于被我看开了

那感觉好舒服

不知，从几何时，

我已不在乎别人对我说的话

无论是褒义或贬义

是赞许或批评

听了，明了，很快，就会忘了

我没有活得自我

我沉默但不寂寞

或许这不是我想要的生活

但习惯了，就不会埋怨

虽然知心的朋友不多

与家人相处的时间还不长

我还是觉得很满足

知心朋友，一两个就够了

其余的，当朋友就好了

偶尔闹闹，让生活增添点乐趣

与家人相处的时间是可以累积的

日子久了，感情就会更融洽

只要思想不拐弯抹角，

不计较，不强求

随缘，随心

一样可以活出精彩的人生

感动

突如其来的一通电话，
让我找到了赚钱的机会，
朋友，谢谢你给我这宝贵的机会
也很抱歉今天我无意间所犯下的错

原来，我封闭了自己的空间
把自己的世界看得太渺小了
我拥有的不比别人多，但我觉得自己所拥有的
正是恰恰好，不多不少
就算少了，隔日可再填补

原来，我无意间忽视了你们的存在
当我在为小事而心烦时
竟忘了自己拥有的不仅仅是这些
回想起来，还会不经意地笑自己傻
原来那只不过是一件很小的事
我却如此看重它
还为此事失望，难过


不懂怎么，总觉得你预知我心里在想什么
你帮我太多了，
很感激你
也很意外你尽然会被我的词汇感动
而哭了
我只想对你说，
我写时，眼角也不经意地流下了眼泪

我珍惜你，也爱你

天天好天

天天好天
一部即感动又感恩的戏
不少人为它落泪了
孝顺父母，本来就是儿女的分内事
工作忙，学业忙，都只是在为自己找借口
偶尔抽空时间，陪陪家人聊天，彼此了解，
或许你会发现，
幸福很简单，
即是拥有一个温暖的家和疼爱你的家人

看这部片时，我的泪只在眼眶里打滚
子欲养而亲不待，
想孝顺时，人已不在
忏悔
当初对你的埋怨，
忏悔，
忽视你对我的好，
但再多的忏悔，
也挽回不了于你相聚的日子

妈，我又想你了
但这次，我会把对你的思念
换成学习的动力
不会在过着消极的生活，
快乐的活下去

是你说的，人最重要的是开心的度过每一天

a new blog

finally,i decided to open an account at wretch blog
it is the place where i write all my pent-up feeling
a blog that is not open for others
hopefully i can handle my feeling well
by writting blog there
at least i  can log my article as private
hahax
nice one

will be coming back